yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
