M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
