I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Drake has all the answers
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