So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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