dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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