Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
