I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
