Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We need to get me chipped asap
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
