Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
