He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
