hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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