I just saw a hot homeless man
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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