GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
