used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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