he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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