he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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