I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
