it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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