But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
