OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
