she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize