it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
