I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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