i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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