I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
