used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've blown a few things in my day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
