I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
