I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it glows. i had to have it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
