Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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