did you get engaged???
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
