I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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