bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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