Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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