Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
