weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
