Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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