I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize