dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
