how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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