break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize