He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
