she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
