He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
