i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
