I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
soo... how was my night?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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