some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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