how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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