So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
