haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
