why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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