I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
