and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
