Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
