FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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