omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
