I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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