their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
