i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
