Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
